Tuesday, April 19, 2016

Cultural differences: Very low expectations

Unfortunately abroad in the rest of the world American women have a terrible reputation. Especially black women due to the medias' portrayal of black women. We are shown as dramatic women with lots of illegitimate children. Seen as having attitudes and being over the top. Perceived as easy or sexually promiscuous. Sometimes foreign men will approach you with all these stereotypes inbred. They will attempt to do things with you and treat you in a way they never would with women from their own country: ask you for money, refuse to take you out, try to get sex without commitment etc. You will need to set the record straight immediately if you detect any of this behavior. If you so choose to date a foreign person, it is very important to get a grasp of their culture. It is important to meet their friends and family and observe how they behave. I can tell you most native foreigners frown on women with tattoos and that use profanity. Also if you are able, try to make friends with some ladies from their country and study them. You do not have to observe them, but I guarantee understanding him on that level will greatly benefit your relationship.

Friday, April 15, 2016

Elsa

Recently I've been driving Uber..and I am beyond grateful for the opportunity..but on last night I had the most sobering situation to date on one of my many rides.. A young white woman got in my car..was quiet until she received a phone call...suddenly I heard her tell the other person on the phone " I don't want to be here anymore...but I don't want to leave you.." and burst into tears. When she hung up I asked what was wrong and if she was ok. She told me she was having a very rough night and that a year ago she had attempted suicide. She said that she had promised people close to her that she would not attempt it again without letting them know first...the revelation took my breath away. I realized in that instance I may be serving as real-time intervention for the young lady and without delay...I began to impart to her that she was valuable...and that she had purpose..a truth I can not be certain whether or not she may have been aware, and then I asked her if I could pray for her. She said yes...so I reached my hand in the back seat, grabbed hers and prayed my heart out for the troubled girl. If you ever find yourself in the same situation...you better take action...do not let that person out of your sight before covering them in prayer. I asked her if she needed me but she said she was going to meet her boyfriend. I reminded her before she got out of my car to just give it more time whatever it was that was bothering her. I hugged her and kissed her cheek, and I can only hope that she is ok, and that my prayers were heard. In our culture... we ignore too often people's cry for attention or detect their behaviors.. I encourage you to begin to look at the world around you. I truly believe we can make a difference by doing so,

Thursday, March 10, 2016

Dear White People....Please tell me

DWP,
It took me the longest to ever admit that there was a difference between us. It took me forever to accept there was a different standard in which I was held too, that you are not. It hurt my feelings to be reprimanded for the very same things you did, except you were never punished.. never called out. It disturbs me to see the growing mistreatment of other people that happen to look like me, and you justify the mis treatment.. all the while you crave my diversity, innovation and beauty.... All of it is so confusing.
As a product of suburban living and private schools I sat shoulder and shoulder next to you in class. I watched as you sat clueless from your lack of processing and critical thinking skills, and with compassion I helped you. I molded your character, encouraged others to be your friends, helped you dress.. I essentially made you who you are.
As we got older that's when the rift began to grow, and by college it was full blown. You acted like you didn't know me to fit in with other whites.. as if we never had history. You turned your back on injustices that happened to my people, you pretended I shouldn't talk about your past, and the past of this country, that we should be over atrocities from which your families greatly profited .. because you had so much fear, and because you have no character. It killed me when you did all of these things. More than you ever would know.
You believed all the the stereotypes.. although you knew for a fact.. you had been exposed to the way I lived, and it was not what was portrayed.
You deduced me to entertainment purposes. You laughed off my concerned claims; negating their validity.. I worked three times as hard because I was taught the essence of hard work. It has gotten me no where.
Now we work side by side in the office.. and you watch them harass me, and you say nothing. You get promoted as you come to me to answer your questions.
You wonder why I'm upset. Well I really don't want to be.. but how I'm treated... its not fair.. and I cant help but feel so subjected to it.
What I want, is to be given what is due to me, not handouts... I want to progress once I have worked hard. I want utilize the education I have spent time and money acquiring. Not be seen as a threat.. not to have my livelihood tampered with in a way that you would never be able to stand... not to have other people that look like me, who could even be me... killed by police officers. and then have no justice served to them? I want you to treat me how you want to be and are treated.
I wonder how can you stand by and let this happen.. How can you hide your voice, how you sleep at night.. I thought you loved me..
I thought we were friends. The truth is we have many things in common, but you harbor hate...and this is why we will always be separate and why I never will trust you.

Sunday, February 21, 2016

Too Good?? Or not good enough

Its a natural question you might ask yourself if you are black, beautiful, intelligent,ambitious and single. you might ask yourself why you get passed up for bums and women with so much baggage (an American phenomenon) . You might wonder why it is so challenging to have a relationship that works and build a future with someone equally yoked. Your natural inclination is to assume you are not good enough, not pretty. just not enough period. When you continually measure up and exceed expectations placed on you... and instead of bringing you closer it seems to create barriers. its not because you are not good enough. Trust me because I know. I have a 100% ( with the exception of my newly ex husband as of yet) return rate. Former loves ALWAYS come back around telling me how advanced I was, how they weren't ready, how they miss me etc, and even in some cases they have even told their new significant others about me (which always blows my mind). After receiving two such contacts in one day through Facebook, I realized that it has not indeed been that I wasn't suffice, but that I was too much. You may reason as a woman that has obtained a few things and keeps herself together.. that it would make you more marketable, more desirable, but in reality.. it makes you more estranged and intimidating to the general public. It is cliche... but very very true, I can concur. I have finally come to realize that the empty look in their eyes is not one of disapproval yet one of awe. Unlike me (who would gladly recognize and jump on the man of my dreams if he was standing before me)some men are scared, terrified, and or petrified of their dream girl. It signifies the end of many chapters for them and brings on the realization of responsibility. Some men are immature, some will never mature, and others will just take some time. I felt the need to make this post because although I am a very confident woman, I have occasionally had those days (more-so as I have gotten older and divorced) in which I doubt myself, and wonder why this area has been so challenging. However today I'm on a high, and I have been made aware of the truth.. that I am all of the things I have groomed myself to be, and that the world is just not ready yet.

Sunday, February 7, 2016

Five things Black People Can Do To Empower Themselves

Often times people talk in depth about the problems that exist in the Black American Community without providing any substantial advice on things we can do to collectively heal our community. I will graciously accept the role as an advocate, spokesperson and leader to help my people. I have committed myself to leaving some impact with my life on this world. somehow some way. I find that am extremely empowered by knowing my history so that would have to be my number one point
1) Learn your history
Contrary to popular belief.. black history does not start with slavery, and we have left countless contributions to society in our past.Forget about black history month.. make it a lifestyle.

2) Strive for independence from the media,bad food and a negative outlook on life
My next concept is radical, but I truly believe it will provide healthy results for your body and mind. Subliminally in America we are taught to think low of ourselves and our potential. We are spoon fed through our schooling and our derogatory media that we are troublesome and useless. It takes a serious decompressing to realize the reason that we are subliminally fed these messages is to keep us at bay and minimize our power. Society knows that we are key contributors and innovators. The best way to prevent utter domination is to weaken the mind. Fight back by waging independence.Spend more time reading and or actually living life versus watching T.V. The foods we eat are full of steroids and hormones which is contributing to unhealthy lives and disease. We have to eat better and cook more especially if we are parents.


3) Travel
My perspective of myself and my people has been greatly enhanced by my travels (Mexico, Puerto Rico, Italy, Spain, U.K and all over the states). Fortunately, I was blessed to begin traveling overseas at a very young age, as my mother is a native Bermudian (from the 75 mile long island Bermuda). It cultivated a great love and appreciation of travel. As I continue to expand my travels, I see how people of color are treated abroad, and how desirable I am as a woman of color elsewhere. It powerful, and mind changing. I encourage you to visit place where people of color live, from South America ,Africa to London Just to get a taste of life abroad. You may even find that you want to relocate. I have found that I am revered abroad, and it has helped to boost my self esteem.Traveling is not expensive or unattainable, It just requires you planning ahead :-)


4)Love on our kids 
Take care of your kids. Self educate your kids. Spend time with your kids. Love on your kids. It is a cold cruel world, and your children have to learn their self worth quickly... otherwise they will get swept into the fast life or despair.. not understanding who they are and that they have a distinct purpose. Do not leave it to the schools to educate our children. I believe that it is due to the fact that my parents passionately instilled self worth in me, that I was able to develop such a strong character, and although I went to private schools I have found that I have never ever been ashamed or insecure about my blackness

5)Build your OWN etc...
We are too accustomed for asking or expecting things from people. We seemingly seek validation from others when we don't even need it. It is in our nature to be creative and innovative, so let us create our own enterprises. Let us make our own schools, clothing, and entertainment. Let us seek and provide answers to our own problems. Once an adult we don't need to ask permission to do anything


Saturday, February 6, 2016

Too much freedom spoils a society

American society and life at this current time is largely mislead...the general consensus is too liberal and is detracting from the legendary quality of life that has formally been associated with living in America. The fact of the matter is that life in the states is too free. I believe that for a society to function well...there needs to be some level of social uniformity. There must be community and socially people need to be on the same page. When every person becomes an individual, it is difficult to accomplish things because instead of moving in one direction...the group is spread up and going in many different directions.

Monday, September 28, 2015

You Have Got To Choose YOUR Life

If there is one thing I'm seeing prevalent in our world today, it is the amount of followers out there. Doing things and living lives that are not genuine or true to that person's actual character. I see people suffering in dead relationships, and unhappy jobs because they rather not deal with the fear of the unknown..Otherwise known as the possibility of success.I believe the only difference between those that lead lives they enjoy and those that don't, is that those that do were not afraid to go for it, take risks, follow their passions, silence the naysayers, and never lose hope. The vast majority just settles for whatever path they have fallen on, whether or not they are happy. You have to make the decision to choose your life, and find what makes you happy. If you make that choice and stick with your plan, you are far more likely to reach the sort of results you want. You don't have to follow the crowd especially if they are stupid and what they are doing doesn't make any sense to you. Trust me, I know being independent is not easy. Sometimes it is lonely...but what gives me solace at night, is knowing I stayed true to myself and those close to me. Don't sell out... Always #StayBlkAndTrue.

Tuesday, July 14, 2015

Why Real Freedom Has Boundaries

Sometimes when I look around at my peers I am so very disgusted and saddened. It is as if they don't realize this very truth, that although you have the liberty to do some things... a life with boundaries is best lived. Logically when you think about overextending yourself, you realize that the more avenues you take.. the less strong you are. You have weak points that can be penetrated, you are unable to do any one thing exceptionally because your resources are spread thin... However when it comes to lifestyle, every day living.. we find it ok to do so much of everything. I must encourage you to draw personal boundaries for yourself because if will promote long life and fulfillment. Be weary of the masses and their trends. Like a wilderbeast sometimes they run in heards simply because everyone is headed in that direction. In modern times such simple things like believing in God, being conservative, being bold, not tattooed etc makes you an outlier because everyone else is busy doing it... and sometimes if you even ask them why, they have no response. I live within my boundaries. .I don't have a wild life although I could if I wanted. The moral of the story is... although such freedoms are there you don't have to partake if you don't want too. Partaking in certain things will become more of a hindrance than anything else to your life. It is wise to see trouble and avoid it. If I have heard stories of people getting strung out on drugs and alcohol.. I don't have to do it myself to learn... We can draw off others experiences.

Monday, June 29, 2015

You Will Never Be Equal; Nature Has Already Determined That

The fact of the matter is no one ever really wants to be equal, unless they are on the bottom layer and want to be accepted and recognized as equal to those that have more and are more. As far as gay rights go.. you may have laws to protect your vile lusts, but you will never be equal. All you have to do is look at nature to determine this. Sam sex couples have to manipulate to survive because nature does not provide them the natural ability to do so. I don't hate gays.... at the end of the day, do what you want, reap what you sow... its all on you, just as the choices I make in my life will impact me the way they will. However, you do not have the liberty to make me accept it. I am disgusted at how you attempt to force those that don't approve to accept it. I will never accept it and you can not make me. You cant make me stop my message, and even by chance if you took my life, I am still free. I will reiterate....no one wants to be equal except the bottom layer.. You don't hear millionaires barking about 'equality'.. smh

Wednesday, June 10, 2015

Why Black People Don't Love Themselves

By nature Im an observant person.. I study my fellow people of color.. constantly trying to relate and identify with them.. but one thing that I continue to run into universally.. is the lack of love black people have for themselves. Every aspect of them from their complexion, shape, and grade of hair seemingly present a challenge.On one hand, some mask their voices to sound more like a white person... They wear certain brands of clothing more popular amongst them.. tend to drink more and party in less diverse areas.. Seemingly they seem to aspire to the idea that assimilating will make them more acceptable, and perhaps less black and threatening. Then on the other end of the spectrum, you have the blacks that lack all self esteem... these are the ones likely to have lots of tattoos and participate in risky behavior. I believe they have more deep seeded emotional issues that causes them to act in a reckless manner... its really just a cry for attention, although gone about in the wrong way. You also have your naturalistas... which claim to be so confident, but I feel secretly deal with low self esteem. They feel that modern styles are 'oppressive' and they wish to be 'natural'. Often these are the perpetually single and extremely fanciful women. They have unrealistic expectations of a mate and since they have not had any successful relationships to compare and contrast against, they are often lofty and far removed from reality. I have always wondered where the voids come from because I never saw myself that way. I always just resolved that other people must have had issues. Clearly black people are creative, beautiful, versatile, smart and unique. I never saw why they wished to be more like people that lacked all of what we have been given naturally. In my opinion, it is the 'diversity' of America that highly contributes to this phenomenon. I look at my other world-wide colored peers.. that do not also have this lack. Most popularily the African. Depending on what African nation they come from, they may be very thick, dark or otherwise what we here in the west would consider 'unnatractive', yet Africans are able to come to a new country,begin their life again, and do it with grace. Why is this? I examined them closer. Many Africans have the beauty of living in homogenous communities, in which they are able to be surrounded by other people of color. This cuts down on the pressure and need to emulate someone else. Now don't get me wrong, I know many Africans wish to migrate, but I believe that is due mostly to the economic and political issues that are ravaging African nations. I do not believe it is because they hate being amongst their own people. Some Africans that i have had the pleasure of making aquaintances with here in the states are the most ambitious and confident people I know. I attribute it to them being able to trace their roots and understanding their lineage.

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

So Im making a movie.. and this is the official trailer

Over the years, I have been told I should write a book and/or make a movie..thanks to technology making it easier than ever, I have created a life story movie of my recent life called A J.Story. Now, my official trailer is on my YouTube channel which is also where I will release the full movie on my upcoming birthday 6/26/2015. Please check out my trailer, share it and subscribe to my channel. #StayBlkandTrue

Wednesday, May 6, 2015

So Im making a movie.....To be released Exclusively on YouTube

And it's great, interesting and creative.. Im so excited. Make sure to subscribe to my channel so you won't miss a thing. If you have enjoyed my previous projects/videos.. you will love my first movie:-)

Thursday, April 30, 2015

What do I think about Transgender's.... (Bruce Jenner Edition)

With all this Bruce Jenner (Kim Kardashian's step father, former Olympic athlete etc) transgender talk.. I SEE what the media has to say.. I see how even some members of his family think and feel, yet I want to express how I feel and think on the subject. I feel deeply that these people that 'look at them self in the mirror and see someone else' are terribly troubled, and need to curtail their lofty distorted view of themselves. The fact of the matter is that it is very clear what gender you were born. Even if on the off chance you may have been born with different body parts (which alot of transgender people are not) it is still clear to see who you are. If you are born a man.. you are a man no matter how much you want to be a woman. Likewise for a woman. The current climate of sex changes and scientific manipulation is all cosmetic. Because by nature your body will perform its designed purpose whether you like it or not. I know that the world promotes you to go along with the confused feelings you are having, but I encourage you to be honest with yourself and hone in on the issues that are making you have these wild thoughts. In the case of Bruce Jenner.. I think that it is pitiful no one is having a real conversation with him. All those around him claim to be 'in support' of this radical foolishness. I as one would never support my parent in doing such things. I would never condone it. its not o.k. and the ramifications will run deeply into his family and those associated to him. I think that in reality there are many more people that do not support this sort of behavior but are afraid to speak out against it for fear of backlash. I think that running away from your issues whatever they may be will hurt you in the long run. You cannot escape being a man or a woman by covering it up.... you will always be what you were born to be. I can sometimes relate to having thoughts a man would have, or wanting to do life the way they do because the world is much more liberal and accommodating to men. They get power and jurisdiction that a woman can never have, however over the years I have learned that i am a woman.. and this is just how it has to be. God never made a mistake when he decided to make me a woman.. obviously I serve my own specific purpose. It is dangerous for us to take matters into our own hands and begin to manipulate science so that we can do our own agenda. I also find it disturbing that we are not calling transgenderism what it actually is, which is a form of mental illness... I urge any struggling with these sensations to seek professional help, and I pray that whomever you seek will speak truth into your life, and help you onto the path of recovery. 

Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Bridging the Gap (African American & African Relations)

I learned very early in the game that I was not white... although smart and vibrant amongst my mostly white class at the private school I attended for most of my childhood life. Inasmuch as I tried to fit in with them, I never did. The next most natural response that i could come up with was assimilating with black people. Seemed quite logical that if I didn't belong with those that I had been raised with, I belonged elsewhere. However due to my complexion, and the way I spoke I wasn't always well received by my black American peers either, coupled with the fact that I had already cultivated fine tastes in which some of my peers could not relate.. I found my self caught between a tug of war. Some people are not ok with their blackness. They spend their whole life wishing to be something else. I never saw my blackness as a weakness, yet as a strength. I have also gravitated towards foreigners because I felt that they could relate to the type of lifestyle I am looking to cultivate. Pursuing foreigners has brought a host of other unforeseen issues, as I had to learn that cultural differences do indeed exist even between people of color. One huge conflict that rips me apart is that between Native Africans (born and raised in Africa) and Black Americans (born and raised in the United States). It the ridiculous stereotypes that Americans have against Africans.. coupled by the perceived 'arrogant' attitudes of the Africans. Being a product of a mixed and blended family, I found some aspects of it as a magnet for hate, envy and confusion. I gradually decided I would put the blackness back in my future by reconnecting with Africans. To date I have made great strides, and I am certain I'll leave behind a legacy my children will love. One that helps them embrace not only their own blackness, but that of others. My deep love for people of color shocks everyone , but most of all other people of color. Fortunately through social media I have been connecting with people worldwide, and it saddens me that so many of them are anxious to move to the U.S, although (from my travels I am actually permitted to compare and contrast) some of their quality of life is better in their home country. The whole purpose of writing this blog and by having my YouTube channel is dispelling some stereotypes and speaking the truth. I desire to know Africans better, I desire for them to teach me about my blackness in its purest form.I want to be more resourceful. I honestly believe so much is to be gained if we bridge this gap.. Will you help me?

Tuesday, April 28, 2015

Burn Baby Burn.... Riots Say What Words Can't Convey

As a black woman in America.. as someone whose children will also be black.. I fear for my safety and theirs. I understand that no amount of money or education keeps me safe.. that is draws no barriers from me and the misfits of society that also share my color. I understand its time, chance and God that protects me only. I could be the next instance of police brutality... whether I'm in the wrong or not simply because of my color. Simply because of stereotypes. Throughout my lifetime.. I have watched several black people (guilty and innocent, unarmed or armed) die as a result of confrontation with police. Ive watched the situation unfold on T.V. Although I don't know the families personally.. I have shared in their sorrow because I have placed myself in their shoes. I have imagined the very same impact on my own life... and I have imagined the helplessness they must feel. I have watched officers and the like go unpunished, unfined, and acquitted from their crimes.. I absolutely understand the language of a riot. The law has the burden of being an unbiased representation for the general public. It is meant to make us safe.. and we are supposed to trust those in that authority. When those can no longer be trusted.. the people begin to speak in whichever manner they choose too. Is it fair to the causalities? To those bystanders that wish for more peaceful resolutions? Indeed it is not... However a riot is the fruit of bad circumstances... usually the result of an issue gone unresolved too long. I understand.. the frustration. I understand the need to be acknowledged.. I understand that waiting for someone to advocate on your behalf has yet to happen.. yet to yield anything. I understand wanting to inflict the pain you feel on the world.. to make someone pay.. to make someone see you. If there were one thing I' d add to the riots... I'd add burning state buildings.. I'd add burning the communities of those that continue to misuse their positions.. those that choose to ignore... I'd reduce them down to that they may see eye to eye with the despair they contribute too.....