Friday, April 17, 2015

Tragic Murders

I dont know if it is because I am a softy or because I overthink things, but whenever I hear about a tragic death (usually by a gun) It just melts my heart. I then begin to assess why Im still living.. after the wrongs I have done, Why do I still continue to get day after day??? As you know through my blog, I've met hundreds of people. One of my penpals from Ghana (west Africa) informed me one of his office colleagues was violently killed yesterday in his home. The gentleman was just that, gentle. Recently married (in Decemeber) he and his wife were expecting their first child, as she is currently 8 months pregnant. The murder took everyone that knows him by surprise. Even I had seen him on facebook posts.. He had a bright smile that just emulated life. Although, I never met him, I mourn alongside his family at this tremendously sad loss. I often think of the ramifications that murder and random violence leaves on a community. In his case... he has a child that he will never even get to see. His blushing, happy bride has now become a widow.. what seemed like a hopeful future, has all been shattered. Its really sad :-( Why do we not love or cherish each other? Why do we aimlessly take life?

The Deceased Francis Anderson and his wife on their wedding day

Thursday, April 16, 2015

"A Little Leaven"........ America's much needed gun reform

After another disturbing case of unsolicited murder by gun that took my place in my city yesterday.. I must officially speak up. A young black wife, mother and entrepreneur was gunned down in the street yesterday by her estranged husband. Also caught up in the crossfire was the victims younger brother. He was also killed point blank range by the husband. This woman was not a gang banger... She was not a drug pusher, stripper or any other sort of shady individual that one would associate with being close to danger. Her husband however.. looked like the typical black American male these days.. Neck tattoo, long dreds. He had the look of a street guy. Only one who knew him intimately knows the details, but based on the actions he took.. I can only surmise his lifestyle was not too removed from the streets. However, both spouses were college educated, and the wife had started a business that was growing. She even employed her husband and younger brother in the chain of 24-hr daycare centers. She was arriving to work when he came an gunned her down in the street. I'm sure she never imagined this fate... I'm sure if I asked her a month ago how she felt about gun reform she may have sided with the more popular mindset of gun freedom in this country, never realizing how it was going to destroy and abruptly end her life. I firmly believe that accessibility is the most pressing issue at hand. It is the very fact that any and everyone can easily get a gun. Janea Harvison was a working girl. She was college educated. She was a wife and mother. She was a entrepreneur. She was not in the middle of a risky life that could remotely indicate her tragic ending.. but the point I want to illustrate goes hand in hand with what the bible warns against. It says
Galatians 5:9 - A little leaven leavens the whole lump., which means a little bit can ruin everything. Gun accessibility is ruining a potential quality life of the American. It is allowing unstable people to have access to do exactly what they are doing. I unequivocally believe the American government has the power to outlaw guns in this country, but I know they consciously choose not too address the problem. The issue is not more laws. we have plenty of laws.The issue is placing deadly weapons in the hands of stupid and senseless people.

Friday, April 3, 2015

Let Me Vent Series: America Is Not A Fantasy Place Where All Dreams Come True (E No Easy)

I may be one of the few people to be honest with you and tell you this country is not filled with money covered trees and the streets are not littered with beautiful, willing and accepting people.. In reality there are many hardships that people of color deal with in this country. Recently I was accused of coming from a silver spoon, that I don't know nor can I relate to the foreigner's struggle. First and foremost, my mother is a foreigner.. so I know very well a firsthand perspective. Secondly, I am traveled and versed in foreign issues enough to speak my piece. Certainly there are benefits to being in this country such a women's rights (being able to become educated and pursue a career to support oneself),independence and also the freedom of speech (In which I can graciously share the truth with the world without fear or contradiction), but many aspects of coming to this country often go unknown until people migrate here, and then and only then are they faced with the truth. The images shown around the world of this country and the perpetuation of all the 'opportunites' that are available here are greatly inflated. It saddens me because often times people leave their home (in which they may even be doing well) to set off for western countries only to live a lesser standard once they arrive. Had they had proper information they may have been able to make the most sensible choice. Trust me, I am gaining nothing by telling you the truth, but i am trying to be a resource for someone; somewhere. I can't speak for everyone, but I hate being deceived and only told the pleasantries upfront, and only learning of the drawbacks either when it is too late of I'm already in the midst. I'm mature enough to understand every action has two sides of the story. Of course everyone can endure the lovely things.. but the question is can you endure the rain?

Wednesday, March 25, 2015

The Spritual Battleground For The Influential

As a child I was fascinated with Michael Jackson, but often wondered what fueled the dysfunction of his own personal life. I never quite understood on one hand he could dominate in the entertainment world but do so poorly in his private life. His fame and talent was marred by accusations, divorces and family drama. As I have gotten older I have come to realize that for the influential person... the battleground is very real. Both spiritual forces (God and the devil) want to use the influence for their benefit.. and it becomes alot of pressure for the person in between. I have witnessed some people with less shine live very calm and regular lives. These same individuals go unnoticed in day to day activities, rarely have conflicts, and seldom endure crisis or hardships. Personally I always wanted to live that way, but have consistently been caught in the major battleground. Often the most talented and gifted people are the most afflicted. Hollywood is full of examples of them.... incredible actors.. incredible artists and musicians ;deeply troubled. The reason has to do with your influence of course because it can either be used to sway people for good or evil. For those of us with the 'gift' it is responsible of us to settle our demons. if not, they can be used to discount and discredit our message. A great example of this was Whitney Houston. I used to hold her in the highest esteem because absolutely no one can/could sing like her. She had beauty, talent and fame.. but due to the fact that she never settled her issues with drugs and addiction it drove her and her phenomenal talent into the ground. It always serves as a personal reminder for me that If I ever fail to order my steps... it could be a critical error in judgement that could hold heavy and in some cases even irreprehensible consequences.

Me at the University of Cambridge, U.K

Absolutely Scenic!

Thursday, March 19, 2015

The Truth about Gay Parenting from a Person Raised In the Environment

I was moved and made quite proud when Heather Berwick published an essay outlining the longterm effects of gay parenting. I applaud her for being honest and courageous enough to speak on a subject matter that I have been barking about. It is TRUE that gay parenting has effects, and we ought to be real and talk about it...... a same sex mate can not fulfill the void of the child's original parent. In the essay she talks about her first hand account being raised by two lesbians. She talks about the void of her father not being around, and although she loved her 'two moms' how it never quite measured up. Kudos Heather!

Monday, March 16, 2015

Let Me Vent Series: Why Do You Do The Things You Do? Why Are You So Trendy?

Have you ever even thought about it or asked yourself the question? I see it as a saddening epidemic taking over our black people worldwide... such a self hatred that leaves us scrambling to emulate and assimilate to fit in to someone else's mold. It Makes no sense to me because we as black people have so many natural blessings afforded to us and we are so creative. It doesn't make sense that we would want to be someone else, unless we have made to believe being ourselves it not enough. People want to know why I stand out, and why I'm different.. well I am different simply because I choose to be a black woman. I choose to like what I like and not acquiesce to what others are doing simply to fit in. I'm different because I ask why, and because I have morals. I'm not afraid to separate myself, and thank God that he has graced me to do so. At this point I see myself as a bridge between native Africans and African Americans;hoping to encourage each of us to see each other in a new light, building motivation and momentum to become better and stronger in the future. Why should we tattoo our skin or bleach it... Why should we have to leave our homes to find where we belong.. Why not belong where we are and impact the world around us.. Why not let our creativity pave a way to the future that we may eat from it, and strengthen communities? Why not celebrate our God instead of hiding him? Im different because I choose to be me, and I encourage you to be you. Ask yourself why those around you copy us in every form and fashion.. why they steal our lyrics, lingo and style. Its not by chance.. it is deliberate because we are strong. We are beautiful. We are capable. This is the reasons other people want our natural attributes because they are gorgeous. Im thankful to my parents for always showing me that black was beautiful.. I have never hated my skin.. I have always seen the potential of my people... and I encourage you too as well... #StayBlkAndTrue

Wednesday, March 11, 2015

Let Me Vent Series: Are you gay or are you confused?

Everyday it seems that some new celebrity is coming out as gay... its seems too common and trivial.. and I'm just wondering are you really gay, using it as a publicity stunt or are you simply confused? Could it be a fad or unresolved emotional issues that causes you to identify yourself as gay... For the remainder of us.. do you not see the ramifications of homosexuality taking over our culture? Or is it just me. Are we not all products of our home environments and schooling.. does any other straight individual fear what the exposure of this epidemic will do to the youth? Most of us are like carbon copies of our parents. Either their example or lack thereof shaped our world. Such the same can be said of homosexual couples raising children. I don't even know why gays are permitted to adopt. If they want to marry.. so be it, but take the good with the bad, just as a heterosexual couple has too. Lets face it homosexuals were never designed to have children.. even animals are smart enough to recognize such truths... How is it that you choose to deviate the marriage model,nature and then go an adopt or inseminate??? If you want to be gay so bad, enjoy your lover to the grave and let it be that.I'm not afraid to speak these things.. let them ascend on me as they always do. Ive never seen such bullies as the LGBT community....Sometimes I feel like the pressure to conform is so strong that anyone that does not fit the mold sees themselves as weird or as an outcast... and in many cases these connotations go with being perceived as 'gay'. Our Bible not only tells us that such behavior is a sin (along with all the other sins :murder, adultery,lying, stealing etc) but also encourages us to cast down imaginations [ wild ideas and desires] which does indeed indicate that at times we will have very crazy thoughts.. but it is not for us to take those ideas and make them the standard. It is for us to overcome questionable areas in our lives. I'm not coming down any harder on the homosexuals than I come down on myself..We can not simply justify our weaknesses and beg others to also tolerate it. Sometimes I want to smack random stupid people.. but I restrain myself. Sometimes I want to steal, lie and etc, but I refrain... I think every human has experienced moments of extreme emotion, but I want to encourage you not to let it dominate your life. I also think sometimes trauma in the home environment exposes people to homosexuality. Some women feel the need to be strong in their household for a struggling mother; which they associate with emulating a man. Some girls that don't have fathers also look towards these masculine lesbians to fill that void. The fact of the matter is that if you don't corral your sin habits whatever they may be they will cost you eternity. Nothing here could possibly be worth it....just consider that.

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

The Difference between The Banker and the Bank Robber

The title is figurative of course...but it something one must really consider.When you contemplate the Banker and the Bank Robber several things will come to mind. Some of my first thoughts are Banker: professional, employed,sensible, responsible.... when I think of the Bank Robber: Bad, Thief, Criminal, Consequences, Matter of Time, Not Enough Money To Last, Death..... When we think literally about the two we can surmise that both are affiliated with the bank.. both have access to bank's wealth, but one is legitimate and the other is stolen. This very same concept can be applied to many other relationship models, but I will compare it to the difference between a wife and a side chick. As the wife, expectations on your husband are legitimate, but as the side chick you can not rightfully make any because your relationship with someone else's husband is a stolen one. On one token both of you have access to the same man, but one gets more preferential treatment than the other... Often times people will settle for a portion of a situation, instead of taking strategic steps to have more legitimate, long lasting results. In the case of the Bank Robber he may experience a one time windfall, but it certainly cant rival the Bankers consistent job. The bank robber has to live cautiously if he does manage to get away... He will sleep with one eye open and always be apprehensive. On the contrary, the banker gets to have peace as he provides for his family. One is legitimate and one is stolen.... Legitimate will always have a longer lifespan.

Wednesday, March 4, 2015

Let Me Vent Series: The Plight Of The Educated Black Woman

Talk about not having anywhere to belong or fit in. You don't fit in with the whites, but some of the blacks envy and despise you... and because of what? The fact that your family raised you a certain way, that you speak a certain way, you went to certain schools or you don't choose to engage in certain lifestyles??? Talk about frustrated. The whites pick and prod at you like you are an animal.. trying to see you tick. They try to emulate you whilst tearing you down. The blacks stay busy trying to discount you.. trying to minimize any progress that you make. smh. These are some of the reasons I seriously consider moving out of the country because due to the diversity of this country it creates other types of dissension between groups that i otherwise believe would be less prevalent if I were somewhere else more progressive, open minded and educated.

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Avoid Fear By Creating a Firsthand Experience

Today I was thinking about my recent trips to London and Barcelona. I was thinking about all the preconceived notions that both I and some of my friends had about both locations, and how I totally dispelled them by seeing it for myself. For instance, none of my closest friends had been to either place yet in regards to the U.K some worried about what the food would taste like, and how blacks were treated. Ironically, I felt better received in the U.K than I have ever felt in the states, and I experienced both English dynamics of the major metro (London) and also the beautiful countryside (Northampton). The U.k was cleaner, food better quality (I lost ten pounds whilst there for two weeks in the fall), better quality programming etc... Although I was a stranger I felt safe (as guns are outlawed there as well as most of the world). The roads were well maintained, subway trains kept immaculate and the neighborhoods quiet. My mystery was satisfied, and I'm deeply in love with the U.K as it stands. Contrarily, The popular conception of Barcelona was that it would be exotic and full of beautiful characters to mix and mingle with. One could expect Latin warmness and hospitality, yet none of these things could be further from the Barcelona I experienced.
Barcelona was filthy, outdated and not receptive at all. I would never likely visit again. The locals were a far cry from the sexy Latins I expected.. instead they reminded me of Picasso.. Skinny, light and slim. They avoided eye contact (even other people of color) which suggested uncomfortable race relations in the region. So in essence, I debunked all the preconceived ideas that both my friends and I had determined about both locations. People can have opinions all they want about things they have never had a first hand account of, but I rather see the world through my own eyes.

Monday, February 23, 2015

Let Me Vent Series: The Burden of Leaders

Do you know how it feels to live a life that is not your own? When you have to sacrifice your desires for others... when you are promoted and you don't want to be? Well that's what I want to vent about. I want to vent about people craving power when they were never designed to lead, and people made to lead that don't desire to do it. It has been my experience that God has some sort of big purpose for me. For years even complete strangers would advise me on the way I should go, but its not my personal vision for my life. Sometimes I feel like it is the reason I experience so much friction. As of late, I have decided to share my mind with the world, and It takes alot to break out of my comfort zone, However I take great relief knowing that God will never lead me somewhere that he wont sustain me. This message goes out to other leaders that are trying to avoid their rightful place as a messenger of the Lord and of truth. We cannot be afraid to fulfill the purpose God has placed on our lives. The gifts and talent we have been blessed with can make a huge impact to those surrounding us...

Thursday, February 19, 2015

Let Me Vent Series: You want Glamour , Yet you Lack Elegance

It never ceases to amaze me that people always want something , but refuse to demonstrate the very same high quality it is that they crave. Sometimes I hear celebrities talk about how they miss old Hollywood and all of its glam.. however they are quick to be un-glamorous in all forms and fashion. After seeing some of the pictures of the Grammy award show, I was just personally disgusted and disappointed at the current roster of celebrities. Even husbands (like Kayne West and Jay Z) don't mind their wives showing all their bodies to the world. I guess I am just old fashioned because I still think that should be reserved for your spouse, and In their cases they have all the money to afford and customize beautiful appropriate clothing. There is certainly a way to be sexy but sophisticated. They lack class and etiquette. They lack mystique and allure. If you wish to be a lady in this day and age.. we must admit that we all luxuries provided to us. If you don't know how to wear clothing (undergarments too) , have proper hygiene, do makeup or hair we have the convenience of additional information at our fingertips. If I was a star I would be dressed immaculately. No need to show all my assets. There are modest ways to behave and yet exude sexiness. Even my peers long for more sophisticated mates an such although never learning how to become more themselves.

Much Luv Series: Go Eddie Murphy!!!!

I ran across an article this morning that talked about how Eddie Murphy was asked to do one of his well known impersonations of Bill Cosby for Saturday Night Live 40 years anniversary, but refused, respectfully. As some of you may know Bill Cosby is under fire for allegedly assulting and raping dozens of women (which we here at do not believe nore support the absurdity). Eddie Murphy said "He wouldnt kick a man while he is down". I just felt a kudos for his compassion was needed. It is an missing element in today's society. We dont mind to have a laugh at others expense or stand by idly while we see someone going through tragedy. Ive always been an Eddie Murphy and Bill Cosby fan.. but his professionalsm in this light made me warm and fuzzy on the inside! GO EDDIE MURPHY!!!

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Let Me Vent Series: Why Does Everybody Think Gay is Cool.. ITS NOT!!!!(E.J Johnson Edition)

When I first ran across E.J. Johnson (Magic Johnson's huge gay son) I was appaled at everything about him.. but I guess what was even more frustrating is how everyone thinks this is cool and they hail him as a "fashion icon". In reality we are talking about a huge black man walking around in capes, leggings and purses. Am I the only one who can see how ridiculous he looks???? It is disgusting at how our culture blurs gender roles.. Guess what.. all the earrings, purses and leggings in the world will NEVER make you a woman.. Even if you do a sex change operation you are STILL the gender you were born as. All your money and efforts can be classified as cosmetic. You dont get to determine what you want to be in that respect.. God has already determined that for you.. What we ought to focus upon is sorting through our emotional issues so that we may release these spirits off our children... I partially blame Magic for his hidden sins. Its quite ironic to me that he contracted HIV mysteriously and then was rumored to participate in homosexual sex and now his son (also named after him) who ought to be chasing basketballs and pursuing his dad's athletic legacy... like something like Michael Jordan's sons did, is the hugest fag around..... talk about embarrassing. And of course Magic has to be tolerant.. although I know deep inside of him has to be some shame that his son has manifested in this way. I know I would be embarrassed. smh. Actually I AM embarrassed for him!!!

Friday, February 6, 2015

Let Me Vent Series: The Seeds We Sow (Bobbi Kristina Edition)

In lieu of the recent tragedy of Bobbi Kristina.. it caused  me to think of some of the consequences from the seeds that we sow. In the case of Bobby Brown he watched alongside the entire country the consequences of his wreck less lifestyle. He watched his wife waste away and destroy her career. Whitney never rebounded from the blow that Bobby's influence had in her life, and as of late neither did his own daughter. Its as if to say that two lives were completely wasted because of Bobby's inability to get his family on track. I have always believed that your children are a direct manifestation of how you live your life in the privacy of your home... In essence a filthy rich 21 year old girl who had everything ahead of her could see no value in life after her mother passed away. I can think of nothing more terrible than losing my family in the form and fashion that Bobby has. I believe that sometimes we make selfish choices in regards to tolerating certain things not realizing that it will also be inflicted in our children. Whitney loved Bobby so much that she exposed her child to a wild and reckless lifestyle. Whitney was not strong enough for that lifestyle.. the cost was great for her although Bobby has gone on to marry and start a new family. Just remember often times the costs we 'think' we are willing to pay is no match for the actual cost we WILL actually pay in the end. The ending to this family is tragic,sad and yet was totally preventable. It is also an epic example for the believer that evil can overtake your life and YOU will be the one to suffer and pay higher costs than the others that also participate in even the same deed. 

Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Let Me Vent Series: People That Break Promises/Commitments

If you felt a twinge or a sting reading the title because you know it applies to you... I'm not going to apologize because I cant stand people that do it. I cant stand it when you do it to children.. I cant stand it when you do it to your friends... and I have no respect when you do it to your spouse or your parents. If you have no intention of following through with your words, don't speak it.. It does nothing but hurt and disappoint the people that love and trust you. The truth is.. we want to believe in you. We want you to measure up to the things that you say you will do. Being trustworthy is not that difficult. Its not something that is impossible. And if you happen to realize that you have been faulty in this area, you can improve. Take it one day at a time, and start with the small stuff: returning text messages/ emails. Trying to come to work on time. Doing activities consistently like going to the gym or attending worship services. Let your quest to be more reliable start with you. I guarantee it is a change that you wont regret.

Monday, February 2, 2015

Let Me Vent Series: Making Excuses for Bad Behavior (In The Black Community)

I see alot of issues in the black community, but i can not stand when people make excuses for bad behavior... that includes, bad parenting, bad financial habits, violence and loads of other issues. I don't want to beat a dead horse, but I cant make excuses for it either. I refuse to make excuses for our behavior, when it comes to not improving conditions. We can improve anything if we ignore it, hide it or excuse it. I believe that if we learn to be more honest with each other we can make more progress and improvements, but perpetuating that certain things are acceptable when they aren't will only be harmful to us overall.

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Let Me Vent Series: I'm Still OldSchool... respect it...

Just because you want to put tattoos all over your face doesnt mean I want too. Just because you want to grow long, dirty,stinky dreds doesnt mean I like them. I still like a guy to flirt innocently with me. I still like roses and smooth romantic music. I believe in God and am not afraid to show it. I still believe in working out to get a better body.. not running to the plastic surgeon. I still want to travel to new places and see the word. I still believe in love and good people.. I know they are out there. I still believe life can get better. So just cause your gone on drugs dont try to put on a damper on my dreams. My God told me I could have it, and I believe him over anything you can tell me!!!!