Tuesday, December 16, 2014

And The Truth Is.. No I Did Not Wake Up Like This....

It has taken years to cultivate my look and my mind. It is nothing that can be achieved overnight, be assured. To create a vast vocabulary, it has taken hundreds of books, years of education and much correction. True beauty is truly skin deep. I believe that there is too much focus on simply the exterior. The woman who made such a phrase even popular knows good and well she "didnt wake up like that" smh. All I can promote at www.blkandtrue.blogspot.com is that you concentrate your emphasis on enhancing your heart and soul because your looks can and will fade. It is advice that I also apply to myself...... ~Stay black and true. 

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Cultural Differences: The Effect of External Influences on Your African Man

I selected an African man for specific reasons: Genes, Tradition, Community,Ambition among others just to name a few. However, I was unaware of the large influence that he would be subjected too living in the states. Some foreigners hold fast to their foreign way of life, but you will find many others are more open to experiencing American life since their migration. For me.... this became somewhat of an issue. My husband went from enjoying the occasional soccer game to watching every NBA & NFL game. He went from listening to Makossa (Cameroonian french music) to repeating the lyrics of 2chainz and Lil Wayne. He went from tailored suits to a more casual look to blend in with his peers except I didn't want all those things.... those were actually the very attributes I wanted to avoid, and I found myself extremely frustrated by his ability to be influenced in what I regarded as an negative direction. It caused us much strife in the beginning because I was very estranged from who my husband was becoming.. and he didn't understand why I was upset. I felt duped and lied too because of course I wanted an "African" man. American influence is very strong, and I now can understand that being away from home is such a big transition. Eventually my husband learned exactly why certain things were not favorable, and reverted back to the groundwork that he had learned, but he did also tell me that I had to learn patience with him. He also desired to have the same sense of belonging that any other human wishes to have. If you are dating a man that has recently come to the states, this can present a huge hurdle for you, as all of the experiences you have come to have after a lifetime of learning, your mate is just beginning that journey as an adult. My advice would be communicate with your mate. I often explained lyrics to songs and broke down the connotations of slang. My husband shared how hilarious it was to learn some of the meanings of movies and music that he had learned whilst abroad. To him, they were simply words, and African Americans that had made it and become successful were simply icons. Alot of the media that foreigners are shown abroad about the American life is misleading and alluring all at the same time. As is it our home we know the fact from fiction, but a foreigner would never be able to make that discernment until they had the opportunity to experience it for themselves.

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

I understand the anger.... (Mike Brown Verdict)

Sunday, November 23, 2014

Looking good but no function

A recent experience showed me exactly how annoying it really is to have something/ someone that looks good, but without functionality. No one wants a man that looks good, but has no substance; just as no one wants a woman that looks good that doesn't handle the basics (cooking &cleaning). I believe that this is a real issue for us Americans, because alot of the focus of our lives goes into the image rather than the substance. If you don't mind simply having a great image, then no need to change, but if your desire is to have more meaning and more connection in you life, then you will have to cultivate more substance in your life. It is challenging to assess yourself.. or to be assessed by someone that you love, however that assessment can be used as a tool to self improvement and a more fulfilling future. Do not take offense, be open minded and begin to strategize how you will use the feedback to springboard forward.

Thursday, November 20, 2014

Black Woman... You are so gorgeous.....

With all the most disparaging things in the American media that can damage and discourage black women, I can not cease to remind all my women of color... how gorgeous you are.. how fantastic and smart you are... and full of innovation. Today, I want to highlight five of our most beautiful qualities:

I have to admit.. my friends are some of the most witty and uplifting people I know. They have great spirits and a great sense of humor. I love the fact that in times of despair they are there to restore and alleviate some of life's stresses momentarily.

Some of my most fondest people: Tina,Michelle and Mom

No one keeps it all together like my black sisters. We manage to keep our hair together, run a household, take classes, and work a full time job. We balance church with the gym. We make meals out of scraps. We have social lives as we carefully care for our children. Other races marvel at our tenacity and ability to manage so many things at one time.. Kudos, Girl.... keep doing your thing!
Working Girl

If one thing is for sure, we do not shy when the opportunity to represent,speak up,correct and support comes. From Rosa Parks to Michelle Obama. From Oprah to Sybrina Fulton (Treyvon Martin's Mom).From Aretha to Billie Holiday.... we consistently deliver creativity and heart.We have the ability to shed light and bring about change. We motivate others in our various circles.. and it is an aspect that we do naturally. I am proud of all me women of color that speak from the heart and strategize from their minds..

IN THIS GYM... GOING HARD #TeamSideProfile

We are loyal to the core, no matter the area of our lives. A black woman will not turn her back on her children. If she is a professional, she is full of ambition excelling to the highest of heights. For her man, she will invest and love with all her heart. No one can pull her from her faith... she will trust in God without reservation and dedicate her life. A friend will be a friend for life, even if we have a disagreement or grow apart. I love the fact that I have grown with some of my friends. It is such a blessing to be surrounded by people I know will be there for me on both sunny and rainy days. <3
Me and Morrisa... #FriendsForever

I love the versatility of women of color. Some go natural.. some look like Beyonce. Some are petite and some are Amazon women, but its all beauty. It shows the handiwork of our Lord and his divine creativity. We are unmatched. Some of our best physical features are given naturally as the others clamor to augment themselves. Celebrate yourselves! Variety is the spice of life! 
My little sister Alonee and I <3

Saturday, November 8, 2014

From Abroad Series

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Ebola....quickly reverts stigmas and stereotypes

Perhaps it is my aspirations of seeing the world that makes the Ebola crisis so scary and saddening. Or maybe it is the fact that so many people of color have been ravaged by it, and that was previously not enough to merit a valiant search for a cure or aid. Or maybe it is the fact that I know that morally and politically, America is not on the right tract. I know that judgement is past due for such an country that boldly challenges God which basically beckons him to respond in a way that forces every knee to bow and every tongue to confess. The fact that Ebola has now crossed international boundaries has brought much attention to it.... Futhermore, I can not fail to mention that white Americans that contracted it seemingly survived, although the African man that contracted it died... Many questions plague me, and make me feel so uneasy. Many Americans are so oblivious to matters outside of their own backyard. I feel deep pain for those that have already been touched by loss and grief of losing family to this virus. I read a story today in which some Nigerian students were rejected from an Texan college admission due to the fact that they were coming from 'a region with confirmed Ebola cases'. Its interesting how such things will quickly bring out deep seeded stereotypes. Suddenly every African is suspect for this disease? Since it is now present in the United States does that mean that make every Texan suspected? Or since one of the nurses exposed traveled to Ohio, does that put every Ohioian at risk? Dont get me wrong, I believe that precautions have to be taken and higher consideration must be taken especially with those that are traveling from infected regions... but that does not beckon ignorance... It never ceases to amaze me how primal humans become in crisis, pointing the fingers and shifting blame. Truth be told, I blame the medical community for turning their nose up at this situation and not being proactive because they obviously never saw the potential of it effecting them. I pray that it does not have the profund impact that my soul thinks it will.... Lord help us all  

Friday, October 10, 2014

Black women; The Example, The leaders and the standard

I ran across a random video on Facebook of a non black twerking contest and that's when it hit me why the world is so much more critical of women of color than everyone else, it is because we are the natural born leaders . We are so innovative ,beautiful, confident, and strong. We lead in many different roles...which other races struggle to manage.  We create fashion. .. have always been creative with our hair and nails. .... and although we are consistently criticized we are seemingly emulated from our innate style down to the way we shake our assets. Lets be honest, black women innovated lively dance. Europeans were always conservative in their delicate ballets while African women shook things up. .. twerking is borne to us. Once a white broad does it....they make a big deal. Even from slavery days black women have been superior. unfortunately the credits go unnoticed. We have to learn to find the strength from within to withstand all the derogatory factors around us designed to tear us down... and we have to learn not to ingest the foolishness. Taking it in and beginning to believe it will lead to depression, low self esteem, and dissastifaction in life in general. Take it from me, I know just how frustrating it can be. Im an emotional person and it rips me to the core to see black women be copied but not given credit, but I want to encourage you to stick to your core values when the going gets tough.. Do not give up, and do not give in. Continue to innovate and create. A copy can never be as plush as the original.......  

Handling Disappointment

This subject has been a lifeling lesson for me that i am still learning how to deal with. being raised to be responsible and dependable has cultivated a very result oriented mindset as well as taking things very personal if the desired outcome is not achieved. As a young person i never wanted to be thought of as the flaky one, the person who never answered their phone, the irresponsible, inconsiderate and selfish one. When people somehow let me down i would take it personally. ... not realizing people are socialized as such. If you are like me, you have to learn not to internalize the disappointment.You have to look for positives and draw from that. I know it sounds typical,but your life will become your mentality.

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

I'm Not Afriad

It takes courage to live in this world... and advocate for certain things... such as God's law, the definition of family, integrity and character. I takes boldness to speak up, and not let injustices happen in front of your face.. It take discipline to order your life, and live righteously even in the privacy of your home or where eyes can't see you... It is not easy feat, but I am not afraid. I am not afraid to be that strong person that I desire to see more prevalent. I am not afraid to transform my life as well.. that I can be an example for others that may struggle yet believe that they can do it. We live in a world where talking and typing are all the rage.. but what are you actually doing.. what steps are you actually taking to make an impact? Is simply stating your thoughts enough to make a difference? Is that enough to change this world? Often when I watch T.V. and witnesses come forth after something heinous has taken place.. the first thing they start talking about is the cardinal signs that they witnessed, yet chose to ignore. They start talking about perhaps what they could have done to change the outcome.. yet i have come to the conclusion talking IS NOT enough... feeling and thinking is not enough.. Ultimately, one will have to take some sort of heed to make a difference. I believe that this is one of the many reasons that our current American culture is so wavering in all that it stands for.. we have so many voices spouting out feelings.. and very few that stand strong and take action.  It takes courage which God has so graciously given me in abundance along with conviction... To overcome the lies we have all been told. I recently took my dream trip to London, United Kingdom and the trip changed me. I took the trip at a pivotal time. I had unexpectedly lost my job and had been experiencing other challenges that were simply leaving me feeling defeated. Coming abroad and seeing the way that the British do life greatly inspired me, and I returned home with a new sense of self..... and elevated ambition. I realized that simply existing is not the sum of life. It actually requires more....which can be summed up by leaving a positive impact. There are plenty evils that can seem to drown out good concepts, but if you forge through.... You will have accomplished the feat of leaving an impact, and no one can take that from you.