Tuesday, September 24, 2013

For Granted....


So somehow a in a freak accident this past weekend, I scratched my eye. If you are not aware I wear contact lenses and do not currently own a pair of eyeglasses (which is totally irresponsible, I admit). My eye was getting so red and irritated, I had to remove my contact, and rather than walk around with an unpredictable crazy wandering eye... I decided to purchase a medical eye patch from the pharmacy to give my irritated eye a chance to heal. However through my experience, I was made painfully aware the difficulties that visually impaired people and other disabled people go through on a daily basis just doing everyday things.

This morning when I was getting dressed for work and doing my eye makeup was the first instance I noticed the difference. Usually when applying eye shadow and eyeliner.. I will close the eye that I am making up... and use the other eye to see. With my right eye under the patch, once i closed my left eye.. that was it, no sight.....
The next challenge was driving myself to work. I had to be extra cautious making turns and lane changes because my visibility was down half.
The next aspect of my temporary disability was the perception and behavior of my peers and friends. One of my dearest male friends that is usually quick to compliment on my looks, was put off by my patch. It made me consider intimate situations.. and how insecure it could make a person feel. I am naturally a very confident woman and secure in her looks... but for just a moment... it made me question my appeal... so much more for those that suffer from authentic irreversible conditions.....
At work.. I was quite the spectacle.... Almost everyone I ran into that didn't know the situation stopped to ask me what was wrong. I wasn't offended, but I could understand how someone could be... or simply feel identified by their disability because it is the nature of people to constantly question and bring your differences to the forefront. Overall the whole experience made me recognize how wonderfully blessed and fortunate I am to have all my faculties about myself.. nothing missing, nothing broken, nothing lacking. It also made me come face to face with the realities that some face each day. Many of us take these things for granted, as we should be forever appreciative........ Thank you Lord.

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Let Me Vent Series: Less is More & More is Less

The older I get, the more I realize this very truth. While our American culture is busy promoting a perpetual consumer lifestyle.. I am wiser to subscribe to the opposite. I have already had more than my share of material things. I have a nice car, clothing.. I have traveled, modestly around the world, and none of these things satiate me. I think we have all run across someone whom we might deem as less fortunate at some point in our lives, amazingly, these individuals seems much more laid back.. and unconcerned with all that swirls around them. Now the trick to this concept is not necessarily to digress to poverty, but shave off unnecessary stresses. On my most recent trip to Bermuda, I observed some of my family that lived fairly simple lives. Taking it all in, I found that I was very comfortable and had less stress without some of the modern 'conveniences' . The hustle and bustle of my lifestyle in the states is crazy. Sometimes you will find yourself so busy, you don't even have time for family or the things that you rather be doing with your time. I sincerely believe that reducing some extraneous needs will alleviate pressures to keep up. Also by doing this, you may have some free time to spend doing more meaningful things such as: spending time with family, exercising , time in devotion, volunteering etc... The inverse of obtaining too many things and being unsatisfied with all that you gain is equally as frustrating. Money & possessions can never fill your soul. I have shared my mentality with many around me only to receive blank stares. Warren Buffet once said "Be greedy when others are fearful and be fearful when others are greedy". This is just some of notable advice that helped him amass exorbitant wealth, but not let it go to his head. I'm now at a stage in my life in which I desire to be somewhat average, after spending the majority of my life ascertaining to unrealistic standards. I also recently came across this interesting algorithm from China. It was in regards to the crisis that educated, successful women are experiencing in the country. The simple observation was that A grade men pursue B grade women, B grade men pursue C grade women, C grade men pursue D grade women.. to the effect that all that is left is A grade women and D grade men. I think this speaks also to what many black women experience in their dating lives. Because so many of us have been socialized to be "strong" & "independent" it elevates us into a class by ourselves, which therefore often times results in extended periods of singleness or settling. Understanding moderation in all areas of our lives can be so beneficial.

Sunday, September 15, 2013

Fact & Fiction

I have never been an emotional decision maker... I have always thought it to be more practical to access things purely through fact or fiction. Logically looking at situations is not popular, but it cuts out the difficulty. Emotions are constantly fleeting.. so to build life on them will continually keep you at a disadvantage. Often times the two choices presented before you are not easy.. however.. if you opt to make a tough choice sooner than later, it can save you unnecessary heartache. Because naturally the more you invest into a situation, say for instance, a relationship that never can work... the more connected you become, and the more intense the pain in the future. Again.. i know this information is not pleasant to hear, but as I look back over my life... and recant the few occasions of embarrassment and pain, I realize that I went against my logic and made choices off of hope and emotion. Each of these instances could have been avoided if I would have acknowledged the cardinal signs that I was made aware of. Now that I have matured into a woman... I vehemently strive to avoid emotionally dangerous situations, and I encourage you to do the same....

Sunday, September 8, 2013

I will only speak if....

I have something worthwhile to say. Currently there is so much chatter in our culture.. so many misleading voices.. and I thank God that I have had the blessing an d opportunity to be raised without complete inundation from the media. I have observed many in leadership positions, that truly have nothing to say... and misuse their platform, but I resolve to use my words carefully, and I believe that is why many have grown to trust me and consult me before they make tough choices. I have also been blessed with wisdom, because I have always asked God for it. Now realistically it is a tough thing to ask for and receive, because it will truly set you apart from your peers. Being a member of facebook.. I see deeply into the messages people update their status with.. i see the true despair or ignorance behind their words, and I have self consciously vowed to only speak words of truth and in good time, because the people that always talk are filled with nothing but air, and the most profound people choose their expressions carefully. In at time where there is so much noise and foolishness, those of us with real truth to share must cautiously speak. WE must do the things we say.. we must be about our fathers business. we must not pollute the atmosphere with things that do not promote God in our lives... we must be honest that we should often go against society's standards to truly reach happiness and success.

Thursday, September 5, 2013

"Y is a Crooked Letter...

And it can't be straightened out", My mother always used to say to me as a child.  I didn't fully understand it then, but as an adult, I cant truly see the logic. We will often find ourselves in challenging situations where difficult choices will ensue, and it is natural to question why it has come to be. We will entertain alternative realities in which we didn't have to make the choices, but it still doesn't change the fact. We will ponder timing and spend time considering the consequences of right and wrong, and determine whether or not we want to pay the associated costs. The fact of the matter is that "time and chance happen to everyone" however we must understand that our steps have been ordered by the Lord. It is not for us to determine the how, why, or "lean not unto our own understanding". What we can surmise is that our Lord is "working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory". To be honest, this is an area of my life where I really struggle. I have never been the kind of woman to sit idle while I feel like my dreams and future happiness is on the line. I believe the Lord has sent an angel to strengthen me in this area. Someone who helps me make hard choices, because in the end the most important piece to any situation you may find yourself in, is making the best choice. It is taking action over deliberating continually. I encourage you if you are someone who constantly questions, learn how to make choices, and save the complaints. Stay prayerful and decide.